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Saturday, February 27, 2010


Good News, Bad News Time!!!

Good News: The USA Men's Hockey team pulled the upset and beat the Canadians.
Bad News: Hey Canada, at least you are better at hockey than the US. Oh yeah, now the US is better at EVERYTHING.

Bad News: Brian Westbrook was cut from the Philadelphia Eagles.
Good News: He is an aging and injury prone running back. The Patriots will probably sign him in the next couple of days.

Good News: Jonny Damon signed with the Detroit's Tigers for 1 year, $8 million; and he said "I always wanted to play for Detroit"

Bad News: The Yankees would have given him 2 years and $14 million to play on a World Series winning team. I'd say enjoy being robbed in Detroit, but Mr. Ponzi scheme is already broke.

Good News: There was a Tiger Woods sighting last week. Mr. Domo Arigato Tiger Roboto delivered an awkward press conference apologizing to everyone.

Bad News: He forgot to apologize to men, all over the world, for banging a Perkin's waitress. I'm a broke comedian, and even I could pull that.

Good News: Pitchers and Catchers have started to report to Spring Training camps. Yes, it's almost baseball time.
Bad News: Mets have no pitchers or catchers. Looks like Johan Santana is throwing to himself. Let's go METS!!!

Good News: The New York Knicks have cleared enough salary cap space to sign two big free agents in 2010.
Bad News: The Dolan Family, the owners of the Knicks, also own Cablevision. If it took months to negotiate The Food Network and HGTV on your cable packages, how do you expect to negotiate a structured contract with Lebron?

Good News: Ever since the sex scandal, sales for Mr. Tiger Roboto's golf video game has sky rocketed.
Bad News: If only there was a way to incorporate Tiger's side missions and banging of hookers. Oh wait. Ladies and Gentlemen Rockstar games presents... Grand Theft Auto: Tiger Woods Edition.