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Thursday, March 25, 2010

Who's The BIGGEST State?

So I get an email today from my buddy Mags, he's part of the infamous Email Crew. This article ranked men, of all 50 states, by the size of their junk. I won't even bother to repeat what I wrote, just know you read it correctly. Condomania is the company who actually took the time to chart out this information. They didn't go door to door, with a ruler, and tell every guy who answered "whip it out." This company sold custom fitted condoms to about 27,000 men in the US, and averaged out how long the schlong was for each state. So lets go through the rankings. New York came in third, beating out eighth ranked Massachusetts. This mean two things. 1. This really revives the NY vs. Boston rivalry, and 2. I couldn't stop laughing while writing that last sentence. Go ahead and re-read it. Start at New York. Arkansas was thirteen which throws a monkey wrench in it all. I didn't think they used condoms or knew how to connect to 'that there internets to actually buy the bot damn thangs.' New Jersey was all the way down at number 32. Looks like the Garden State will need to do more growing. Note to all of my blog readers, this proves tanning, roiding, and Jersey Shoring all lead to a Little Jimmy. Nebraska was at 39, but like Arkansas, I don't think they use condoms. Don't believe me? Go take a trip and count all the teenaged pregnancies. You won't even make it out of a High School without using a scientific calculator. Last, and by this survey, definitely least was Wyoming. Their motto is Equal Rights. Let start by working on equal length. Surprisingly, New Hampshire took home the Gold Medal. All this time I thought Texas was the state filled with the biggest pricks.

For more on Mike Garb, please visit www.MikeGarb,com and Experience the Funny!! Stay tuned for my first ever podcast called "Mike Garb Plays With Himself" Podcast. You can subscribe on iTunes or visit my website to download it.

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