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Monday, April 25, 2011

People Who Need to be Punched in the Face

With society becoming more and more rude, arrogant and utterly obnoxious, there has to be a way to get everyone back on track.  The main problem is there is no consequence, no one gets a random punch in the face anymore.  There was a time when annoying people would catch a beat down, just for the hell of it.  Today, the biggest jerk-off gets a reality show.  We need to go back to the days of random @$$ kickings.  Here are a list of people who need to be punched in the face immediately.
  1. Anyone who still screams "WINNING" - Guess what, it's over.  Has been for weeks now. The guy who started this is slowly dying and actually LOSING!!!
  2. FIST PUMPERS - someone needs to cut these douche bags off.  And does anyone else find the irony that a total jerk-off is a good fist pumper?  (Think about it)
  3. Politicians - this should be a National Holiday.  I can definitely see Punch a Politician Day catching on.  How is it possible the people chosen to represent the masses only make decisions that benefit the rich.  Last time I checked the working middle class was about 85% of the population, that's the f***ing majority.  Just pretend like you give a sh*t once in a while.
  4. The person responsible for continually spinning off The Real-Housewives series on Bravo. - In a down economy why is it so fascinating to see a bunch of unappreciative rich c**ts complain how life is so hard.  You have 5 nannies for your 2 kids, a personal chef to cook, a maid to clean, a private car to drive you around, and a husband who foots the bill.  My cats eat, sh*t, and lick themselves and still do more than these woman.  
  5. Old people who drive during rush hour. - Can we please make it illegal for anyone over 70 years old to be on the road from 7 AM to 9 AM and 4 PM to 6 PM.  It's not fun to be stuck behind '95 Buick Lasabre going 40 mph and with hazards flashing.  I am convinced this is reason why Road Rage exists.
  6. Bruce Jenner - I don't even hate the guy, I actually feel bad for him.  Having to constantly hear Kim complain about another failed relationship with yet another C rated athlete.  This guy hasn't felt a facial expression since '92, and a punch to the face may just let him know he is still alive and capable of feeling something.
  7. The person setting the Gas Prices - Which middle eastern country do we have to bomb to get below $2/gal. at the pumps again?  I'm sick of bringing a co-signer to Mobil every time I have to fill up my tank.  If Gaddafi doesn't step down in the next five minutes, he's getting five across the eyes and an uppercut to follow.
  8. People who don't give the courtesy one over when in a public bathroom. - Doesn't matter if you are a man or woman, you have both been in this scenario.  You are the only one in the bathroom at work, and the next person through that door thinks parking their @$$ next to you is the best place to be.  Someone has broken the unwritten One Over Rule.  Your first thought is always "You gotta be f***ing kidding me,"  which is followed by panic and then you don't even have to go anymore.  My solution: calmly exit your stall then mule kick in the door next to you and punch the person directly in the face while they in crouching crapper pose.
If you can think of more people to Punch in the Face either leave a comment or email me at  Please feel free to subscribe to my blog and tell your Facebook and Twitter friends about me.


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  2. ok, gotta tell you, number 7 & 8 had me laughing my a$$ off... Hugs to you and R...Patti