Total Pageviews

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Why I am a @#$%ing Mets Fan

It's Opening Day of baseball and what seems like new hope for most teams is really 162 painful reminders on how far away my team, The New York Mets, are from winning it all.  Here are some reasons why I am a @#$%ing Mets Fan.

  1. Our owner comes out and says "My son is doing an excellent job running the Mets" in the middle of a 10 game losing streak.  You should go into motivational speaking Mr. Wilpon.
  2. No matter how clean Citifield is, trash is always scattered on the field.  Thank God we threw out Castillo and Perez.
  3. I once thought Pauly D was sitting next to me, but then I remembered I was in Queens.
  4. I get a brief moment of excitement every-time ESPN's bottom line says "New York to acquire pitching" until I realize it's the New York Yankees.
  5. We reward our top performing players by trading them to a better team.
  6. The New York Mets starting lineup rather be on the DL than on the field.
  7. A 17 game lead with one month left in the season is still a nail biter.
  8. I actually love watching ESPN analyst Steve Phillips comment on what the Mets should do?  Hey Steve, should we trade for Mo Vaughn and Bobby Bonilla like you did?  Did you know Stevie P passed on Ichiro Suzuki because Bobby V recommended it, and he hated Bobby?  Now you do.
  9. We are the only baseball franchise with Vegas odds on what inning our announcers will fall asleep.  Under / Over is the 4th inning.  HOT TIP:  TAKE THE UNDER
  10. My team will over pay for any mediocre player who goes on a 4 game hitting streak.  Jealous yet?
  11. Our nickname is 'The MIRACLE Mets'  It will be a miracle if they finish over .500
  12. I haven't seen the Mets win it all since I was in my Lenny Dykstra under-roos in 1986.
  13. It never gets old hearing Peter Gammons say "I don't even know where to begin" when asked what the Mets need to do to improve.
  14. Bernie Madoff says we're financially stable.
  15. They are actually making a new game show for the Mets.  Check out the new promo below:

To Experience The Funny on a daily basis, please subscribe to my blog.

No comments:

Post a Comment